My dear laptop passed away a couple of days ago, and I had to take her
to the medicine man. Thank you medicine man for successfully bringing her
back to my laps for me to touch and tap her buttons with.
Yes. I love, LOVE Innuendos. Haha.
Anywho, Christmas is at hand! Rejoice! Eat Meat! Even better, eat RED MEAT!
But we all forgot one thing that we should not miss, the Creep of Christmas.
Or, the Christmas Creep.
Here are moments in my life that changes my outlook upon the Santa-Claus-Christmas-Spirit:
1. Back when I was a child, I believed in the existence of Santa Claus, or the Big Fat Man In The Red Coat With A Full Beard. So this guy, He-Who-Gives-Little-Children-Gifts, proposes a condition for little kids: "IF (capital I and F), you are good, then you deserve presents".
So I tried, very hard, to be good two months in advance, so that 'Santa' here would give me the presents I wanted. One Christmas, I didn't get the thing I wanted, an action figure, and was very pissed at "St. Nick". The next year, I decide to give "Santa" here a piece of my mind. So I slept in the family room's couch, by the Christmas Tree, with a camera under my pillow, and a baseball bat under the couch. Of course, being a 'good boy', I even prepared a plate of oreo and a glass of milk. When the Clock stroke midnight, I opened my eyes, grabbed the camera, and lift the bat up high saying: "SANTA! YOU DON'T MOVE, OR I'LL HIT YOU!" and as the lights went on...
I saw my father.
Thus, Santa is a lie.
2. In some believes, it states that "When you are a bad boy, Santa will leave you a piece of coal for your gift." Now, let us observe evidence A:
Now some people know why the 'coals' he left are mushy and smelly.
3. When you tell your children to believe in Santa Claus, you're telling your children to be
impolite. The "Big Man"'s laugh is very famous for its ' HO HO HO '
Think about it mates. Ho, Ho, ho? Superman that Ho.
I hope the Lawyer wins.4. If you really really think about it, Mr. Nick, is a really really creepy guy.
"You Better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I'm telling you why: Santa Claus is coming... to Town.... He sees you when your sleeping... He knows when your awake...."
You BETTER Watch out....
5. Just like everybody, Santa does have a brother. A twin brother if you may:
Ooo... You better watch out... you better not cry.... he'll see you when your sleeping,
he'll knows when your awake... he knows if you've been bad or good... so be good...
for goodness' sake....
No comments:
Post a Comment